Afternoon Treats

If you ask for a 'danish' in Copenhagen, you are ordering a prostitute. We just use the point and grunt method when faced with numerous options at bakeries. You can't go wrong when everything is flaky and liberally-laced with the national drug: pure white sugar.

Drinks are so much better in Europe. Instead of floating our brains in beer from 10 am until bedtime (as seems to be the local custom), we're hydrating with fresh fruit and vegetable juices, plain yogurt drinks, and flavoured milks by Matilde.

Smorrebrod

Peder Oxe is a top Copenhagen restaurant that serves organic, traditional Danish meals, snacks, beer, and wine. At lunchtime, you can choose from among several different kinds of smorrebrod (open-face sandwiches found all across Scandanavia), including in-house smoked salmon, silver eel, thinly-sliced smoked halibut with chopped egg, and boiled ham drizzled with asparagus vinaigrette. Everything was light and thoughtfully-prepared.

New potatoes with chives, red onion, and mustard mayonnaise atop a slice of freshly baked rye.
Crispy, fried fish cakes with dill, lemon, and caper mayonnaise.
Danish 'summer salad' includes cheese, fresh radish, cucumber, herbs, soft bread, and good butter. Thinly-sliced roast beef, gherkin, the most delicious little fried egg, and some of that fresh rye.

12,000 Shopping Bags a Year

We had the most humbling morning at the Dansk Design Museum's theFlowmarket exhibition: a a quiet room set up to look like a new age grocery store with soft lighting, a glowing fire on a flat screen television, and squishy black chairs lining the walls. What's for sale? Plastic pill bottls labeled 'time for each other,' hypodermic needles promising to deliver 'collective consciousness, and aluminum cans filled with 'renewable energy.' But all the containers are empty.

theFlowmarket is designed to refute what I think is the largest lie of our times: that we 'vote with our dollars,' instead of by involving ourselves in the world around us. When half the world lives on less than $2 a day, we're voting for continued inequliaty when we vote only with our dollars. Buying organic food might be better for you, but don't kid yourself into thinking you're doing anything nice for anybody else.

They say the best things in life are free, but if by 'best,' you mean clean air, safe drinking water, tolerance, inner peace, silence, good vibes, and unconditional love, you better check your receipt. I think we're being overcharged.

Kobenhavn

What we've read is true, Copenhagen boasts lots of bikes, great food, and mobile beer carts. Adam is already envious of the inner-city biking infrastructure, with wide dedicated lanes on all major streets, large bike-only parking areas, racks in front of every building, and kickstands, covered chains, and functional design. And I've already fallen in love with the fresh Danish ingredients: apples, walnuts, creamed honey, flaky pastries, fresh juices, salty bacon, whole grains and generous loaves of wheat bread, huge salads, soft stinky cheeses, fresh chives, and sweet, grainy mustard.

This morning, we set out on foot toward Vesterbro to visit Design Zoo, a cooperatively-owned store selling the creations of local artists and designers. It was sweet stuff, for sure, but we were feeling hungry by this time, so pressed on to Edgefeld, Copenhagen's first all-orangic grocery store and then Meyer's Deli and Cafe (owned by Claus Meyers, a national celebrity chef here). We found a good many things to spend our kroners on, loading up on presents for ourselves and then sitting down for a hearty brunch in the candlelit cafe window.

One of the many bike-only ride n' park areas in the city centre.

Meyer's Club: Torn chicken, salty bacon, roasted carrot and parsnip, plus a slather of sweet peach relish.

A bit of a rest after that ruckus last night.

Last Day

Sibelius Monument

We Are Sveaborg

The Helsinki ferry to Sveaborg, a sea fortress from the 1700s, takes only twenty minutes and costs less than 3 Euros per person. Apparently 900 or so residents actually live on the island, which is criss-crossed with walking bridges and cobblestone footpaths. Around much of the interior are the original stone walls, many of which are attached to labyrinth-like networks of halls and caverns.

Sveaborg under a blue and cloudy sky.


Carved directly into a hill. I don't know how they did it!

After sitting on his own for a bit while I searched for pretty rocks, Adam realized how much he misses the water. This was his favorite vista of the day.


A slightly sexed-up version of Canadian geese? Probably not, as I think they were ducks. This couple was restrained, but fashionable, just like all good Finns.


'That's the really Finnish one,' exclaimed the girl who sold Adam this licorice ice cream bar. Turned out to be dusted with powdered salt, but - not surprisingly - Adam soldiered on.

Hyvää Huomenta

cold blueberry soup

After a few days of a bland Finnish diet, Adam and I agree that while the Finns use far too little sugar n' spice for our tastes, they do breakfast right. A popular breafast dish here is an 'open sandwich' (or, as Dad calls them: 'open facers'), but we've been loading up at our hotel's breakfast buffet each morning. It's always a robust affair consisting of smoked and fresh fisk (herring and salmon especially), boiled eggs, oat bread, light and dark rye bread, rye crisps, porridge, glass pitchers filled with blueberry and strawberry soups, sliced tomato and leaves of butter lettuce, organic yogurt, cloudberries and lingonberries, museli, flax seeds, sunflower seeds, oat bran, big chunks of emmental and turunnma (similar to harvati), Finnish cottage cheese (dryer than the Canadian version), pork sausages with nutmeg and ground mustard seed, metwurst (or 'meetvurst' which is like salami, but less salty), strong coffee with cubes of coarse brown sugar, rice pie, and rows of 'Dominos' (a sandwich cookie similar to Oreo).

We eat well because vegetables, fruits, and whole grains virtually disappear after the morning meal, and Finns wear their drinking hats from noon onward. According to my guidebook, the average Finn drinks 72 litres of beer a year. I wouldn't be surprised if that is matched with cups of coffee and packs of cigarettes. I still can't figure out why everyone looks so healthy.

silli, juusto, and a heel of rye

sleepshopsleepshopsleepshop

Another sleepy day while Adam was at work. Later, we ended up walking to Goodis, a boutique stocking hand-stamped stockings, men's t-shirts, fabric-covered stilettos, and dresses by young Finnish designers. The aesthetic was exactly like Ottawa's Victoire, and so were the prices. Lucky a pearly white button ring fit my budget and my middle finger.

As the Locals Do

A typical evening in Helsinki might include browsing around Marimekko for brilliantly-decorated shirts, gauzy dresses, and socks. Next, locals head over to Stockmann's deli to pick up some take-away for dinner (finished off with a bag of makeiset ja lakritsi - a.k.a. candy and licorice).

Mission accomplished.

Chore List

One of my chores for today is laundry, although I am dubious that I figured out how to use the hotel washing machine. Europe might be more efficient, but if you can't read the instructions, you're unlikely to save time or energy. But here's something I understand perfectly. Plugs for bathrooms sinks are made out of black-coloured rubber, so they don't yellow and show stains as they age. Genius!

Take Us Higher

We're staying on the 7th floor, here at the Scandic Grand Marina. Our room is small, spare, and - after a four hour return ferry to Estonia - it feels just as good as home.

Tried to muster up the gusto to go into the city for dinner, but ended up settling for the hotel dining room, and were we ever glad. I finally got my modern Finnish meal: potato gnocci in a mushroom cream sauce with parsnips and three Riva-sized goat's cheese medallions.

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Last night, we took a couple different street cars into one of Helsinki's Northern neighborhoods for a Sbinks family standby: hearty, street-level vegetarian food. Vegemesta turned out to be a grimy little burger stand in an industrial-looking outpost a few blocks past Helsinki's most popular outdoor market. But it had a friendly cook who explained the menu to us in English, a cooler full of naturally-fermented drinks, an aging Mac with free Internet access, and a brand new copy of Vice magazine on the tiny little table (conveniently seating just two people at a time).

They had vegan schnitzel and fish burgers, but we stuck to the stuff that God intended to be made from soy: veggie burgers, which came with came with cheese, mayo, red pepper spread, lettuce, and tomato on rye.

Tallinn, Estonia

In Helsinki, locals love to hop a ferry to Tallinn, the capital of Estonia to do a little cross-border shopping. But never mind the cheap alcohol, the city dates to 1050 and it's brimming with Russian dumpling shops, hand woven linen, and juniper cooking utensils. And all are housed in crumbling, pastel-coloured stucco buildings. I loved the slow pace and pedestrian-dominated cobblestone roads, yet we both found the whole trip surprisingly touristy. We stuck to the side streets to avoid the throngs of weekending Finns, and ended up finding seal meat pate in the local grocery store, a bakery selling glazed marzipan figurines, and a grassy park overlooking a busy artery running through the more modern part of Tallinn.

The city gates at the bottom of a grassy hill called Toompea.

Fried potato balls with garlic sauce for lunch.

Estonian pancakes filled with mushrooms, onions, and blue cheese from Kompressor, a pancake house that makes a popular hangover hangout with the locals.

A fine bit of kitch. Adam exclaimed, 'Are they jokes?' To which I replied: 'George W. is no laughing matter.'

At last, a rest.

Estonian grafitti. At least it doesn't use the Cyrillic alphabet, but that certainly doesn't mean we can read it.

Thursday.

On a wing to Toronto. Downing a black current and banana smoothie on the way to Helsinki.
Taken somewhere near the marina in Helsinki.
This is what we've been waiting for.

We're 'here'!

The word 'here' has a funny concept when you wake up from an early-morning dream and don't know where you are. But...I have made it to Helsinki. With Adam and all our luggage (most of it empty so we can vacation American style - by shopping). And I found a couple computers in our hotel, so I should be able to post every day.

So.

On Thursday, I cabbed to the Ottawa airpot, flew to Toronto, caught my connection to London, and then flew all night to Heathrow. Adam met me at Heathrow and took me to the 'Yotel', which is the cute little hotel inside Heathrow's Terminal 4. The rooms are really 'cabins' - tiny, but ironically, decorated with a much cooler aesthetic than most North American hotel rooms. I had time to shower, dry my hair, and drink an orange juice before we caught our flight to Helsinki.

Giddy from lack of sleep by this time, we passed the three hour flight in fits of giggles over just about everything. And then...somehow, after propelling our bodies through space and time, we were here. And 'here' is the Scandic Grand Marina, an aging, European hotel housed in an old port warehouse. We do see the water from our room - through a tiny, diamond-shaped window and natural light pours in from a skylight tucked into an alcove in the ceiling.

Today, still lacking any sense of time and without much appetite, we set off to explore the city. The bright sunshine perked us up as soon as we left the hotel, and we spent the next six hours of so in the city centre - eating tomato and mozzarella croissants at brunch with a big bottle of cold carrot juice, picking up an ergonomic birch spatula at the Design Forum Finland, and stopping at Stockmann, a massive Finnish Department store on the way home for a big container of grilled tofu with leeks, sesame seeds, and a big pile of green beans.

Good-bye and hello!

Starting today, Bite Hard is on the move!
See us in Finland, Denmark, Sweden, and England.

So.

Good-bye cancer,
good-bye cold weather,
good-bye PhD everywhere.

Hello Adam, hello health,
hello strange food and overpriced beer,
hello art galleries everywhere.

I nominate my father for the Earth Day gold medal. He repairs whatever is broken and figures out how to use anything obsolete. I have seen him cut his own key for a defunct golf cart, fashion a back windshield for his car from Plexi-glass and scraps of wood, and clean sludgy sewing machines out with an air compressor.

He is the king of buck-sheeing, hay-wiring, and jiggy-pooing. And he's kept his old dog chugging along for over 13 years.

Royally-iced cookies given to us by Matt. If you want your own, the Easter bunny's been visiting bakeries all over town.

Thank Jesus for Easter!

Guess who's back?

Bite Hard is back - again. This address will once again host a blog about Ottawa food and culture (plus, my personal photos which will continue to appear often).

Stop in for seasonal recipes, local food finds, and posts about alternative living in the capital city.

That said: Check out my recent review article at Supernaturale.com. Books on making, moving, pledging, and thrifting.